2 Copies

An old woman's diary

I'm sorry, it's been ages hasn't it?
Read this if you can.if you manage, you'll learn that apparently old people moan on, even to themslves, in their own spare-(r) time!

You might even be unfortunate enough to find out what NIGHTSCREEN is. 

conversational lull

I found these all walking home one night. Got a bit carried away so I'll just bangem all up at once.

ten things to do when you're dead in Nunhead

euuuuuuurgh, I'm glad to bin this one.
Whilst traipsing about the vacous gohst town that is Nunhead SE15, my companion and I happened upon a thoroughly disgusting bungalow, just beside a church, with its pre-fab walls kicked out allowing a view inside onto untold horrors..well, I'm about to tell you actualy, and ruin your buzz as much as it did mine.
Protected but by an easy navigated non-palisade fence this horrendous shack with charcole devils on walls, various religious items and painstakingly inked and blue tacked poor quality illustrations of crucified schoolgirls lies ripe for investigation, boasting a crunchy floor of needles, some used, others still  useful. I'd tell the cat we saw poking about in there to watch it's step, only Il ne comprehende pas. You can stand in there and watch the biddies and kiddies pass you by, but the wierdest thing about the place is despite the awful denigration and sheer filth of it, it all seems fresh. The milk bottle in the kitchen isn't too rotted, and there was a half eating sandwich on a plate. A coat sat on one of the chairs. It felt awfully like someone was going to come back home. Another creeping fact is that there's loads of these weird, boarded up prefab bungalows squeezed in alongside the terraces around there. This one has simply been made transparent.

The grotesqueness of the chosen aesthetic on the walls - juxtaposed with the Hed Kandi multidisc CD's lying about- is that familiar, weird morbid terror that so often surrounds born junkies- and executed with varying degrees of coarseness, usually dependant on class and artistic education.
PUKE . Here's a sample, followed by a few stills..

Oxford landing

I found this at about 5/6 in the morning, on a burgeoning sunny day in Oxford about two years ago. I would love to know what kind of behaviour renders an apologetic lion card necessary, never mind what kind of behaviour is so extreme that the card is bitterly discarded in the street.  Do you think it's THE Matilda?  I've noticed  a running theme in these cars is that of bad behaviour, or generally being in trouble..
The time I found this was quite a strange night/day actually. Oxford university is like a parody of itself...champagne glasses litter the lawns, people at parties dressed in subfusc (those weird gowns..) can stay awake by the power Talk alone, and for the record, croquet is really hard and really unenjoyable. Tally ho!

Cause and effect / Coarse and effete

(For ultimate satisfaction, read to...)





Oh dear dear, do you hear the hired thugs at the door?
This could well be a reality for poor Mrs Chris Eubank - IF ONLY SHE EXISTED.
Yes, it appears middle England filth peddlars Mills and Boon make their money (I had been wondering about how they did it) via conning old women  - and yours truly - into thinking they can get free laughably bad 'novels', before sending in the old shit-up letters.  It's a good thing I hadn't sent the books to the particularly oft-crotchety friend I had initially intended to.
Do you think this is worth £13.40?
comments on the back of a doily please,
xxx

Anger special!

Here's a couple. One I found recently outside a school near by..glad to see the traditions still going strong, although my own typographic analysis concludes the silly boy/girl did not go for the 'collumns' technique, effectively dodging the brainwashing aspect of the activity; an tactic of subversion which Marden High School grew all too wise toward, adopting a cruel and unusual demand of 'paragraphs' instead of lines.

The other scrap was rammed through our door some after..well it explains. We did indeed never have a party again in that house, and the lady even apologized for the note, and gave us her old telly. She was a good egg really, way nicer than the condom-accusation side.

Oh and I saw this band last night they were very good!
http://soundcloud.com/hysterical-injury/the-works

Williams

this appeared some time ago from m'colleague who was, at the time, at dartington college of art. Send offsted round..

Badly behaved boys

We can only guess how he's doing now.  I think if he didn't get taken out for meals and treats all the time he wouldn't be such a cheeky fuck. But I'm no social worker..

Welcum

We received this off some neighbours in New Cross who were never off our case, and were blind truly to the exploits of their horrid teenage children.
For the record - it was NOT us. Noone in our house would ever use condoms